Addicted to Love (Bayou Devils MC Book 2) Read online

  “Mine is ‘cause I’m from Alaska.”

  “Wait, hold on. That’s only part of it,” Moose says, his cheeks finally returning to their regular color. “You know how grizzly bears in Alaska are so much bigger and meaner than ones you find in the lower forty-eight?”

  “Yeah,” I respond, nodding. Moose motions to Kodiak, who just rolls his eyes.

  “Oh, please, I’m just a big teddy bear.”

  “Is that why you almost got arrested when you went home last year and saw that guy talking to your baby sister?”

  Kodiak growls and takes a sip of his beer. “Whatever. That little fucker had it coming.”

  “I feel like we’re forgetting someone,” Smith says, leaning forward and looking around the circle.

  “Henn,” Logan says from behind Ali. Kodiak snaps his fingers.

  “That’s right. Blaze tells that story the best though.”

  Blaze chuckles and leans forward, placing his beer on the table. “When Henn was prospecting in, we had a party one night. The guys had been riding him hard cause some of them didn’t think he belonged in the club and he wanted to prove himself. He drank so much goddamn Hennessey that he just ran around the clubhouse naked screaming, “I am Hennessey!” at the top of his lungs.” He shrugs. “The name stuck.”

  “Oh, man. That’s great.” Izzy stands up and smiles at the guys gathered around the picnic table, laying it on thick as she bats her eyelashes. “Now, which one of you is going to show me where the booze is?”

  “I got ya, Darlin’,” Kodiak says, jumping up and flashing her a sly grin. He may think he knows her game, but I can almost guarantee that he’s not ready for the unstoppable force that is Isabelle Hutton.

  “Mmhmm,” Izzy hums, letting her gaze drop down his body before she spins around and walks off, putting a little extra swing in her hips. Kodiak follows behind her with his tongue practically hanging out of his mouth and I bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. No doubt, Izzy will have him on his back underneath her before the night is over.

  My gaze drifts to Ali, cuddled up in Logan’s lap with a blissfully happy smile on her face that makes my chest ache. I can’t help but look at how happy she is and want that for myself even if I know it’s a terrible idea. I can’t stop thinking about what Chance said in Ali’s bathroom last week – about how he would wait as long as it took for me – and then I start thinking about what Aunt Dottie said. The thought of him going away, leaving my life for good, hurts more than I want to admit but even thinking of giving our relationship a shot still scares me.

  “Let’s get some music going,” Streak says, pulling me from my thoughts as he hops up from the picnic table and pulls a remote out of his pocket. He points toward the clubhouse behind me and Thunder Kiss ’65 by Rob Zombie starts playing. A few of the guys start talking about a run they have coming up this week and I let my gaze wander around the circle as I sip my beer.

  My skin prickles with the sensation of being watched again and I glance to my side. Chance doesn’t look away when I meet his pale green eyes and my cheeks heat. God, how the hell does he still make me all tingly with just a look? Turning away from him, I drain my beer and sigh, glancing over my shoulder to the black brick building that serves as the Bayou Devils clubhouse before deciding to go in search of another beer. As I open the door to the clubhouse, I’m surprised by the décor. It’s manly but clean and it looks like a fun place to hang out. There’s a bar along one wall and a couple of pool tables off in the opposite corner. Couches line the wall to my left and a couple round tables with chairs fill the middle of the room. I don’t know what I was expecting but this isn’t it.

  Slipping behind the bar, I locate the beer fridge pretty easily. Just as I’m pulling a bottle out, my stomach growls and I glance behind me to the set of stainless steel swinging doors like you would find in a restaurant. I remember Ali saying something about a kitchen back here and I peek through the circular window, smiling when I see the stove. Pushing it open, I slink inside and pull open the large professional grade fridge, perusing the contents.

  “Hungry?” a raspy voice asks from behind me and I jump as goose bumps race across my skin.

  “A little,” I retort, spinning around and pressing my back up against the fridge. “Are you going to feed me?”

  Chance smirks, a hungry look in his captivating eyes and I suck in a breath as he takes a slow deliberate step toward me and then another. He doesn’t touch me, but our bodies are a fraction of an inch apart and I can feel his body heat seeping through my clothes. Why does that feel so damn good?

  “No, I had something a little different in mind.”

  Crap.

  Am I really going to do this? I’ve been so good at avoiding him and I could totally screw it all up by sleeping with him tonight but my body aches with need and my dreams have been filled with him every night. The way he looks at me and the way my body reacts around him makes my feelings so much deeper than they should be, than they have any right to be, and if I’m being perfectly honest, it scares me. With each passing day, I can hear him pounding at the walls guarding my heart but my mind drifts to Ali and the blissed out look on her face anytime she’s around Logan or someone even mentions his name. I want it so badly that I feel a twinge in my chest, urging me to take a chance for the first time in twelve years.

  “We shouldn’t,” I whisper and he tilts his head to the side, studying me with a little scowl I find adorable.

  “And why’s that?”

  I place my hands on his chest, contradicting every word that’s coming out of my mouth. “You already know why, Chance. This is getting messy and I can’t do messy.”

  “And what if we stop making it messy?” he asks and I shake my head, closing my eyes because it hurts too much to look at him right now.

  “What would that look like?”

  Reaching up, he gently cups my cheek, brushing his thumb down to my jaw and my whole body aches for more as I pry my eyes open and look up at him. “What Logan and Ali have.”

  “I… can’t do that.”

  “Who hurt you, Princess?” he asks for the second time and I jerk away from him, but he doesn’t let me go, holding me close and even as I fight, I want to give into him.

  “You don’t know me, Chance.”

  He laughs, shaking his head as he stares down at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”

  “I don’t know,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against his chest. There is a part of me that’s clinging to that notion but if I’m forced to think about it then no, I don’t really believe that. Chance knows the real me, he always has.

  “Please,” he pleads and I pull away to meet his gaze. “Give us a chance. I’m fucking crazy about you and I don’t want to walk away from this.”

  Before I can react, he leans down and presses his lips to mine. My body goes lax against him at the first touch of his lips and I sigh as I grip his forearm. It’s gentle but so tender and I can feel everything from him as he shows me all the things he can’t say. His other hand comes up, framing my face between his palms as he pulls back and searches my eyes for a moment. Tears sting my eyes and I jerk my face out of his grip as I stare at the floor.

  “What are you doing to me?” I mutter, closing my eyes to fend off the water works. I try to wiggle away from him, but he pulls me closer, forcing me to face this and I feel something breaking inside me.

  “Look at me,” he whispers and despite my inner protests, I pull my head back and meet his gaze. I’m stripped bare, all my pain laid out in front of him as my walls come crashing down all around me and he pulls me closer. “Just let me in, baby.”

  “I can’t,” I croak, the first tear spilling down my cheek and he shakes his head.

  “You can. Just let me in, Carly.”

  “You don’t understand. It’s not that easy. Don’t you think I want to let you in? I want all the same things you do but I can’t. This is all I can ever be for you and you de
serve better than half a person.”

  He grabs the back of my neck, keeping my eyes on his as determination flashes in his gaze. “You are not and you have never been half a person. I’ll consider myself so damn lucky for everyday you allow me to be in your life, so I never want to hear you say shit like that again.”

  Sucking in a choppy breath, I study him but all I can see in his eyes is complete sincerity. How can he possibly mean that? “I don’t know how to be any other way.”

  “I’m not asking you to be any different. I want you, just the way you are.”

  I shake my head, fighting against how right everything he says feels. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship. You won’t want me when all I do is push you away because I have no idea how to do this.”

  “It hasn’t sent me runnin’ yet, has it?”

  “It will. You’ve only known me for three weeks, Chance. There are things you don’t know about me and once you do, everything between us will change.”

  He blows out a breath, shaking his head slowly as he looks down between us. Maybe my words have finally sunk in and he’s realizing that a relationship with me is a terrible idea. That’s probably for the best but, oh, God, does it hurt.

  Just when I think he’s going to release me, his head snaps up and he pins me with his stare. My mouth pops open as I try to come up with anything to say to him and he swoops in, kissing me and shutting me up. He holds me close, once again pouring his feelings into his kiss and I’m done for. How could I possibly deny him anything now?

  “Give this a shot, Princess,” he urges against my lips. “Nothing you could tell me will change the way I feel right now.”

  I can’t force the agreement out of my mouth and yet, I can’t tell him no either, so I lean in and kiss him again.

  Fake it ‘til you make it, right?

  A soft groan rumbles up from his chest and one arm wraps around my waist, securing me to him as the other dives into my hair, holding the back of my head as we stumble and my back crashes into the fridge. The contents in the door rattle around but I can’t be bothered to stop. He’s pouring so much emotion into his kiss and my heart aches with tenderness as I pull him closer, securing him to me. I’ve never been kissed like this and you’d have to bring a wrecking ball through here to pry me away from him.

  He slips his leg between my thighs and I gasp. Using my surprise to his advantage, he teases me with his tongue, running it along the roof of my mouth and my whole body trembles. His hand slips to my ass and he lifts me into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist, mentally willing him not to drop me as he turns and walks. He never once takes his focus away from our kiss as he passes through the swinging doors and I only have a moment to worry that someone might be out on the couches or playing pool before he sits me down on top of the bar and slips his hands up under my t-shirt.

  His hands feel like feathers against my skin, slipping over my flesh and sending shivers racing through me in every direction before they drop straight between my thighs. His tongue tangles with mine, teasing me with the promise of a long night and tenderness between my legs in the morning. My pussy aches with need and I whimper as I fist his shirt and pull him closer, trying to rub against him. He lit a fire inside me and now he’s going to put it out. Releasing him, I reach down and grab the bottom of my shirt, ready to rip it over my head but he stops me.

  “No one else gets to see you like this, gorgeous girl. Get upstairs,” he says after ripping his mouth from mine. He grabs my hips and lifts me off the bar before swatting my ass and gently pushing me toward the stairs. I’m not thinking anymore, my feet moving toward the staircase with determination. My body is strung tight and I’m not leaving here tonight until he’s relieved the ache.

  Thankfully, it seems everyone else is still outside and as I race up the stairs, I can hear him stomping behind me, just as eager as I am to get somewhere private. When I reach the top of the stairs, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back into him, spinning me around so I’m facing him as he steals more kisses and pushes my back up against a wall. His rigid length presses into my belly and I roll my hips, moaning at the feel of him.

  “It drives me crazy every time I’m away from you,” he whispers against my lips as we move again and I thread my fingers into his hair as I plunge my tongue into his mouth. He grips my hips hard and groans.

  “I’ll never be able to promise to make it easy for you,” I reply and he lets out a laugh, his breath washing over me.

  “That’s all right, Princess. I kind of like fighting with you.” He pushes me up against a door and one hand cradles the back of my head as he fumbles for the doorknob. When it opens, he guides me inside and shuts it behind him. The thud of the door shutting echoes through the room and he tries to lead me to the bed, but I push back on him, pressing his back to the door as I loosen his belt and unbutton his jeans. His hand slips up my back and unhooks my bra before pressing it firmly against my skin and I moan. I knew I had missed him, but I didn’t realize how much until this moment as everything in my world seems to right itself with his touch.

  “Pants off,” I command, pointing to his jeans clad legs as I back away from him and he arches a brow.

  “Little bossy tonight, are we?”

  Taking a deliberate step toward him, I place my palm against his chest as I rock my hips against his. “If you take off your pants, there is a fairly good chance I’ll suck your cock. If that doesn’t interest you, then maybe I should just be going.”

  “You’re not going anywhere. I just got you back, so I don’t care if I have to barricade the door to keep you here,” he growls, grabbing my hips and pulling me closer. My gaze falls down to his hips for a moment before I meet his eyes again with a brow arched and he chuckles, wrapping one arm around me while he shoves his jeans down with the other before switching. When he finally gets them past his hips, his erection springs free and I grin as I start to sink to my knees, but he doesn’t let me go far, grabbing me by the arms and pulling me back up to kiss me again.

  Threading his fingers through my hair, he cradles the back of my head and kisses me so softly, with so much love, that I’m moments away from bursting into tears in his arms. With each passing moment, saying yes to him seems less and less crazy even if it is still terrifying. I have to be losing my mind to think about really giving our relationship a shot but I am.

  “As much as I love your sassy mouth, baby, tonight I want you under me,” he whispers in between kisses as he slowly leads me toward the bed. When the back of my knees hit the mattress, he pulls away just enough to spin me in his arms before he’s pulling me back into his body and wrapping his arms around me. His lips press against my neck and a breathy moan slips out of my mouth as I rub my ass on his cock. With a groan, he quickly unbuttons my jeans and pushes them down my legs as I kick my feet to help him. He moves to my shirt, pulling it over my head and when he wraps his arms around me again, his bare skin presses against mine.

  “Mmm,” I hum, leaning back into him and reaching behind me to run my fingers through his hair. One arm wraps firmly around my waist while the other slowly trails down my belly to the apex of my thighs and my breath hitches as I wait for him to touch the spot where I really want him. I feel his smile against my neck as he skirts around my clit, teasing me until I’m whimpering in his arms. I jerk away from him, ready to spin around and take what I want from him when he pushes down on my shoulders until I’m bent over, bracing myself on the mattress with my hands.

  “Shit, baby. You’ve got the best ass I’ve ever seen,” he growls, grabbing one cheek before smacking it hard and I let out a soft cry. He sinks to his knees behind me, holding my hips so I can’t move away from him, as he leans in and sinks his teeth into my skin.

  “Chance,” I beg, shifting from one leg to the other as my core throbs with need.

  “Yes, sweetheart?” His voice is sugary sweet like he has no idea he’s killing me right now and I would stand up and walk out if I still had the ability, but I’
m concerned that I’d take one step and crumple to the floor.

  “Please,” I whisper even if it kills me to beg him. I have an intense love/hate relationship with the things he does to me because trusting him not to use it against me or hurt me is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

  “Don’t you worry, sweetness. I’m going to take care of you.”

  His grip on my hips tightens and he pulls me back to him before licking between my thighs and I moan loudly, arching my back to give him better access. Moving his hands to my ass, he grabs my cheeks and spreads them as he leans in again and teases my clit with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. I fist the sheets, sucking in desperate breaths as he drifts up, plunging his tongue inside me as he smacks my ass.

  “Oh, God!” I scream, pushing back against his face and he groans, pulling away from me and standing. He grabs my hips again and lifts me up, tossing me onto the bed on my stomach before climbing on top of me. He pulls my ass into the air and I moan at how commanding he's being tonight. I’ve always remained in control of the relationships in my life but handing it over to him isn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, I would even go as far as to say I trust him.

  At the very least, I trust him as much as I can trust anyone. Before that night, I was naive and I trusted blindly. The thought never even crossed my mind that Austin would betray me until I was laying in a hospital bed with my world shattered around me. Now, no matter what, there is always a little voice in my head questioning the motives of those around me, wondering if I’m still the butt of everyone's joke. I miss the freedom of believing what people tell me instead of wondering what their intentions are.

  The ripping of a foil packet pulls me back into the present and Chance’s gentle touch on my hip as he lines his cock up with my entrance sends warmth radiating from my chest. Maybe I haven't known him that long and maybe it’s a huge mistake, but I truly don’t think he would ever do anything to hurt me. When I’m not fighting him, his presence settles me and I think I’ve become addicted to it.