Addicted to Love (Bayou Devils MC Book 2) Page 18

  I stand up straight, pulling out of her arms and clear my throat as I wipe the tear off my cheek. “Well, that’s about enough of that, I think.”

  Dottie laughs and nods. “Certainly. Pull those rolls out. They have to be done by now.”

  I go to the oven and take the rolls out, tossing them into a basket before taking them to the table where Dottie is waiting with the pot of soup.

  “Well, I suppose we should give her a few more minutes.”

  I nod. “I’ll try calling her.”

  I dial her number and the phone rings until her voicemail picks up and I sigh. “Hey, Vi. It’s me, your sister. Dottie and I are here at her house waiting for you guys. Are you going to be here soon?”

  “So,” Dottie says as I hang up the phone. “How’s work going? Did you find that thing you were looking for?”

  I grin, excited to tell her about my new project. “Yeah, actually. I’m going to be running a page about interior design and home décor. Maybe doing some DIY projects. Mercedes is even tossing around buying an apartment and having me fix it up since she’s been wanting to get involved with real estate.”

  “Real estate?” she asks. “I didn’t realize you were interested in that kind of thing.”

  “Neither did I until I had to decorate my office and looked into it.”

  “Well, that’s great. You look so happy when you talk about it.”

  “I’m honestly thrilled.”

  “Well, good for you, dear. I can’t wait to read all about it.”

  My phone buzzes and I glance down, my smile fading at the text from Chance on the screen.

  Chance:

  How long you gonna freeze me out, Princess?

  “That your sister?” Dottie asks and I shake my head. “Who is it?”

  “Uh… just this guy.”

  Her brow arches. “Chance? The one you took to your mother’s charity thing?”

  “Maybe.”

  “And?” she prompts. “How are things going between you two? Figure out what you are?”

  I shake my head. “Not exactly. We’re taking a little break.”

  “Translation, you’re pushing him away.” I open my mouth to object, but she holds her hand out and shakes her head. “I’ve said my peace about this, so I’ll just say one more thing. People don’t wait around forever, no matter how strong their feelings. At some point, it just gets too painful to love someone who won’t give you the things you need. If you care about this man at all, make the jump or let him go permanently. It’s not fair to string him along.”

  “You sound like you know from experience, Auntie,” I muse and she nods, sadness creeping into her gaze.

  “I met a man once and for me, it was love at first sight, but he didn’t feel the same way. He strung me along for three very long, painful years before I had to walk away. I still think about him from time to time and no one else has ever made me feel the way he did when things were good between us.”

  The heartbreak is clear on her face and I wonder if I’m hurting Chance as much with my inability to commit. My phone buzzes again, saving me from replying to her as I glance down at a new text. This one from Ivy.

  Ivy:

  Sorry. Not going to make it.

  “Ivy’s not coming,” I whisper, glancing up at Dottie as she looks out the window. Her brow furrows in concern and after a moment, she sighs.

  “Let me box up some of this food for you, sweetie. I’m afraid I will not be good company tonight.”

  I nod, watching her as she grabs a container and fills it with soup for me to take home. I hate to admit it but I’m worrying about my sister, too, and seeing how distraught Dottie is, makes me feel even more uneasy. Whatever it takes, I will get to the bottom of this and figure out what is going on.

  * * * *

  “I’ll let you all talk but just think about what I said,” Chance says, standing from the table where Ali is perched with her laptop in front of her. He meets my eyes as he passes us and my hand shakes with the urge to reach out and touch him.

  “Hey, Car, see somethin’ you like?” Ali asks, a smile stretching across her face, and I shake my head.

  “Shut up. We’re here to talk about you. Not me.”

  She laughs and nods, kicking out one of the chairs next to her. “By all means then, have a seat.”

  “How are you doing, Hon?” Izzy asks, looking at her with a concerned expression as she sits down and crosses her arms on the table.

  “Well, let’s see. I’m locked in my house because some psycho is leaving dolls on my doorstep, and I’m not talking to my boyfriend since he thinks he can run my life, but he won’t leave me alone, so we just walk around the house, not speaking to each other.”

  “Ali, he’s just trying to protect you,” I point out, and she nods.

  “I know that, but I wish he would just cool it a little bit. If he had just talked to me about it, I probably would have agreed with him, but he didn’t. He bulldozed over me and started barking orders.”

  “Sounds a little bit like you’re taking shit out on him,” Izzy says, giving Ali a look. “This is hard for both of you, and there is no handbook. Hell, even the cops can’t do much right now. Maybe you should just cut him some slack.”

  She bites down on her lip before sighing. “Yeah, you’re right,” she whispers.

  “Then our work here is done.”

  Izzy pushes away from the table and panic flashes in Ali’s eyes. “What? You’re leaving?”

  I bite back a smile.

  “Sorry, Hon. We just swung by on our lunch break and traffic was awful. We’ll stop by tonight if you want,” I offer, and she nods.

  “She’ll be busy,” Logan says from the end of the hall, and Ali jumps, pressing her hand over her chest before she meets his eyes and practically melts in her chair. Or, maybe not. Izzy nudges me and we back out of the kitchen to give them a little alone time.

  “You free for dinner tonight, then?” Izzy whispers as we creep toward the front door and I nod. I’ll do just about anything right now to avoid how hard it is to stay away from Chance.

  “Yeah. Call me when you get off.”

  She nods and gives me a quick hug before leaving as I turn down the hallway to go to the bathroom. Just as I’m about to close the door, someone pushes inside, covering my mouth with their hand as they shut and lock the door. My heart pounds and I imagine every awful scenario in the point two seconds it takes to recognize the smell of Chance’s cinnamon gum. Peeking up at him, I can barely make out the outline of his face from the light spilling in underneath the window blinds and I shove his hand off my mouth.

  “What the hell are you doing?” I hiss, keeping my voice low so Ali doesn’t overhear us. She was just giving me shit about staring at him when we walked in, so I can only imagine what she would say if she found us like this.

  “Me? I think the more important question is what the hell are you doing? It’s been over a week since you’ve spoken to me and that was only through text.”

  I shrug, looking away from him. “And? That’s the definition of casual, Chance.”

  “Except we aren’t casual no matter how badly you want to convince yourself that we are.”

  “There is no we, no us. There is you and I and we occasionally come together to have sex. That is it.”

  He lets out a sardonic laugh as he shakes his head. “You’re lying and you want to know what else, you’re not even all that good at it.”

  “Look, I’m really sorry if anything I did made you believe this was anything more than sex,” I say, repeating the exact same words I said to Sam not so long ago as I push on Chance’s chest. Except this time, I don’t believe them even a little bit.

  He steps in closer to me, pressing our chests together as he slips a hand along my cheek. I savor the touch, closing my eyes for just a split second but it’s my undoing. “I want you, Carly. All of it and I’ll take the moments you’re smiling at me like I’m everything you could ever want along with the m
oments you lose your shit because you feel me getting too close. I’ll stand here, with you, through all of that as long as you’ll have me and I’ll fight off your demons when they are too big for you to handle but I’m getting real tired of all the games.”

  “Stop,” I hiss, refusing to meet his eyes, afraid that one look would completely give me away.

  “Why? Because it’s everything you’ll never admit that you want? I’m a patient man, Carly, and I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”

  “Don’t you dare say that.”

  “Why not?”

  He nudges my cheek, forcing me to meet his eyes but I can only hold it for a second before my eyes fall to his chest where my fingers are digging into his skin. “Because it would be a waste of your life.”

  “Even if I found someone else, they would never be you.”

  I snort. “Sounds like a win-win to me.”

  “Except then I would never feel this way again,” he whispers, grabbing one of my hands and placing it over his racing heart. “And that’s a problem for me.”

  Closing my eyes, I press my hand harder against his firm chest, counting the heartbeats that pound against my palm as I try to rein in my emotions. “Stop trying to fix me, Chance. Some things are just broken.”

  “Someday, Princess, I will prove to you that you’re not nearly as broken as you seem to think you are.”

  That promise, simple as it seems, is enough to break me. Tears well up in my eyes and I push against him, but he doesn’t budge, holding me close as I struggle to get away. “Just stop, Chance. This has clearly gotten out of control. There is nothing but sex between us and I’m sorry if you made it out to be more.”

  “Bull. Shit. You know it. I know it. Hell, if anyone would catch us right now, they would fucking know it so why do you keep fighting what you feel?”

  A tear slips from my eye and I bury my face in his chest for a moment to hide it as I swipe my cheek. Taking a deep breath, I look up again and meet his eyes.

  “I don’t feel anything anymore. I’m sorry.”

  Twisting out of his arms, I open the bathroom door and run to the front door, hoping that I don’t attract the attention of Ali or Storm before I get to my car. Glancing back over my shoulder, I almost burst into tears when I see Chance standing in the doorway to the bathroom, watching me. He doesn’t even look a little deterred by our conversation and I wonder what the hell I have to do to make him believe me. Maybe I’m really not as convincing as I think I am.

  “This isn’t over, Princess,” he calls to me, soft enough for only me to hear and I turn away from him, desperate to get to the safety of my car.

  Once I get to the car, I throw my bag in the passenger seat and pull away from the curb. In the rearview mirror, I can see Chance standing on the front lawn with his arms crossed over his chest and I swear, it’s like he’s looking right through me. That’s always been our biggest problem. He sees the real me, through all the bullshit, and most of the time, he doesn’t let me get away with it. He forces me to be real with him and it stripped away all of my defenses.

  Needing a distraction, I look around the car and try calling my sister again. Getting ahold of her has been difficult lately and every time she doesn’t answer the phone, I get more concerned. She and I have always been so close so what could possibly be going on in her life to make her ignore my calls and not get back to me? It’s like she’s a completely different person and I just don’t get it.

  The phone rings and rings and with each moment that my call goes unanswered, my heart sinks. When I get her voicemail, fresh tears sting my eyes and I blow out a breath, hating how achingly empty my chest feels walking away from Chance.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Carly

  “I can’t even imagine how terrifying that was, Hon,” I say as Ali finishes explaining her recent ordeal. We’re all sitting around a picnic table at the clubhouse while the guys gather around the fire, discussing who knows what. I was apprehensive about coming here tonight when Ali told me they were having a barbecue but I don’t think Chance has even glanced in my direction since we showed up which is a good thing.

  “I’ve honestly never felt fear like that. I was frozen and I couldn’t even scream for Logan. I thought my heart was going to literally burst.”

  Izzy blows out a breath and looks up at Ali. “What are we doing to end this son of a bitch?”

  “Logan is handling it.”

  “Well, what is he doing?”

  Ali shrugs, peeking over her shoulder at Logan and I follow her gaze to find Chance’s eyes boring into me. Well, so much for that. Sucking in a subtle breath, I remind myself that I can handle this. I just need to stay away from him and then maybe I won’t give into this ache that’s been present since I decided to put space between us over two weeks ago. Not that he’s made it easy at all, though. I’ve even turned off my phone and sat in a dark apartment to avoid facing him when he dropped by without warning. That combined with my repeated unsuccessful attempts to get ahold of Ivy has made for a very stressful couple of weeks.

  “I don’t know, Iz. He promised to tell me everything when it was over,” Ali says.

  “And you’re okay with that?” she asks, incredulously.

  Ali nods. “I am. If there is one thing I know for certain, it’s that Logan is madly in love with me. He would do whatever it takes to keep me safe, and if me being in the dark for a little bit helps him deal with this, then I’m okay with that. But he will be telling me every little detail when this is all over.”

  “I don’t know how you do it,” she grumbles, and Ali laughs as the boys walk over to us.

  “Ladies,” Chance says as they gather around the table, his gaze lingering on me. I can feel it like a touch across my skin, but I refuse to look at him. The guys all sit in a circle around the picnic table, some pulling up chairs while others slide down the bench seat. Logan picks Ali up and sits down in her spot, positioning her in his lap as he presses his lips to her neck. Her eyes drift closed and she smiles.

  “Wait, I’m gonna need you all to tell me your names again,” Izzy says, batting her eyelashes at the guys and Ali laughs while I shake my head. As Izzy drove me here tonight, all she talked about was how badly she needed to get some tonight so this is like a buffet laid out in front of her. The guys go in a circle, each telling her their names and when it’s Moose’s turn, she holds her hands up.

  “Hold on. Moose?”

  His brow arches. “Yeah?”

  “How in the hell did you get a name like Moose?”

  All of the guys start cracking up and Smith slaps him on the back. “Yes, brother. Please tell us how you came to be known as Moose.”

  “No,” he snaps, looking away from the group.

  “Ah, come on, buddy. If you don’t, I will,” Kodiak says with a teasing grin on his face. Moose turns to glare at him.

  “Don’t you dare.”

  Kodiak smiles wider and turns to us. “It happened like this, ladies. Good old Moose here was dating this girl, a real psycho but she sucked better than a hoover.”

  Izzy flashes them a wide smile as she props her chin up on her hand, already enthralled in this story.

  “Anyway, Moose in his infinite wisdom recognized that this was the type of woman that would cut your balls off in your sleep and decided to end it with her. To say she didn’t take it well would be an understatement. She just didn’t want to let our sweet Moose-y go so she devised this plan to kidnap him.”

  “What?” Izzy sputters out and all of the guys are snickering at this point as Moose’s cheeks burn beneath his beard.

  “Right?” Kodiak asks. “Moose is a big boy. I have no idea how she was planning on getting him out of here, but we had a party one night and she showed up. She spent the night flirting with all of us but always keepin’ an eye on our boy here and when Moose went upstairs to get something, she followed him. We heard the crash and went running up there. Home girl had shot him with a tranquilizer and he was laying
on the floor, moaning like a…”

  “Moose!” Izzy shouts, cutting Kodiak off and the entire table erupts in laughter, nudging him as he looks away, blushing harder.

  “I fucking hate you all,” he growls and Kodiak pats his head.

  “Oh, no, you don’t.”

  Izzy sighs and shakes her head. “Well, now I’m just more intrigued about all of your names.”

  “Let’s see. Fuzz was a cop,” Kodiak says, pointing to Fuzz, who tips his hat at us and Izzy smiles. “Smith is just because that’s his last name.”

  “Super unoriginal,” she says to him and he shrugs as he takes a drink of his beer.

  “Storm here was named by Red’s old lady. She said he always looked like he had a storm brewing in his mind because of his eyes.”

  Izzy glances over at them and nods. “Yeah, I could see that. Not so much anymore.”

  Ali grins and Logan squeezes her tighter, kissing her cheek.

  “Aw. It makes me want to barf,” Streak says and the guys laugh as someone nudges Logan.

  “Ah, Streak got his name because he’s the luckiest son of a bitch you’ve ever met. Seriously, don’t ever play cards with him.”

  “I’ve just got skills, bro,” Streak says and Kodiak shakes his head.

  “No, what you’ve got is like some crazy voodoo magic that I want no part in.”

  “I’ve got to go with Kodiak on this one, Streak,” Blaze says from the table next to us. “I’ve never met a guy who finds more money layin’ on the ground than you do.”

  “Whatever,” Streak mumbles, a smile still on his face as he sips his beer.

  “Who’s left? Oh, Chance – also just his name. Super unoriginal. And Blaze is because he used to like to play with fire a little too much.”

  “Keyword there, used to,” Blaze says and Kodiak nods.

  “Wait. What about you?” I ask Kodiak, trying my best to ignore the burning sensation of Chance’s gaze glued to me.